id suang ginawoku

under MAJOR construction

2008-02-24T23:47:00.004+08:00

gosh.. am soo busy with work life.. girls drama.. projects, task and workloads... events to organize and manage, trips and outstations.. robbery attempt at my goddamn house? shit.. wish I GOT TIME for all of this.. why was i assigned to do everything? oh God, haih.. anyway.. will begin a major revamp for this blog in a couple of weeks time.. check it out in April! PEACE to ALL! and FCUK AZEF for LIFE!

the legacy

2007-09-24T18:24:00.000+08:00

Its always been a rough path in our lives. Throughout our lives we seek redemption, the journey to find our own holy grail seems to be never ending. Some succeed, some lost and others never return. What is it that men seek worth lives to kill? Desires never seems to be satisfied. In the end, a journey travel less is much long for.. thats when a legacy is passed down and a new legend is born..

"a soul that travels in longing for a soul mate.. to step in the dark shadows deep in the pit of the evil world, journey worth to die for.. return with glory or lost forever.."

finally the end or a new beginning?

2007-08-14T18:40:00.000+08:00

its been a very long vacation, finally i've managed to settle down, what a great times i had lately.. will start to blog again once i set everything in motion..

"my joy lies in admiring the road which i walk along, where ever i go, it will never be the same.. "

kiss and goodbye

2007-05-18T11:31:00.000+08:00

there will be a time, when you got to look ahead and walk away from where you stand.. yesterday will never come back, tomorrow will be today and today will be yesterday.. falling over and over again, time and space seems to bound both of your legs on the ground.. if the world runs toward you and pull you behind, you just got to learn how to ignore and run really fast foward.. history have shown the world doesn't change man but man change the world.. dont let the world change you.. run really fast and and everything will follow you behind..

"This has got to be the saddest day of my life
I called you here today for a bit of bad news
I won't be able to see you anymore
Because of my obligations
and the ties that you have
We've been meeting here everyday
And since this is our last day together
I wanna hold you just one more time
When you turn and walk away, don't look back
I want to remember you just like this
Let's just kiss and say goodbye"
-the manhattans

all! or nothing at all?

2007-05-04T16:56:00.000+08:00

standing at the edge
singing a song
rocking the melody of the forgotten
banging at the door of eternity

the tide is high
but they kept on surfing
gunning down to one last show
gambling all in their fight

they said what it is to life
if not to live
fight it all for a right
or just nothing at all?

11 days

2007-04-27T13:53:00.000+08:00

Its been 11 days since my last post.. a lot of things have been happening lately, and finally i got the time to post something today.. i'll make this short since i got a lot more to do..

GOOD LUCK to UTPians, special batch may 2002, especially my ex-housemates and those who knows me dearly, excluding few people that deserve bad luck, get fucked you fuckers! hahaa.. excuse me for using explicit words.. p/s- i guess and hope for all the worst that ah jeff the wanker with the broken dick forever stuck with his dickhead screwed. may you be damned and condemned for life and the life after!

why i kept quiet?
-i concluded my 5 years plan this month (fuhh!! it was 1+7 months early than expected..only 80% success rate but yet, its far more than i've forseen considering all the circumstances, thank GOD!)
-i got 2 months to determine my next course (almost complete and the 1st round results would be seen as early as in August this year)

to all faithful surfers of this small blog of mine.. thank you for all your support.. stay tuned for the next updates, i got a little suprise early this May ;) .. shall we? hehee.. and let the revolution begins..

added friday 04/05/07-damn, no more suprise! the big 'boss' ... ehemm.. damn..

underneath the oren tree

2007-04-16T14:53:00.000+08:00

may you heard this sweet short name
its noni and she like to sing
on tv she always dancing
with thick accent she says..
'nda ada apa-apa ba'
hiding behind the curtain
eating ice o she really have flirty eyes
noni she's the girl on tv
noni nonny here i'm waiting
underneath the 'oren' tree
i'll be waiting for nony..

p/s:- noni nonny.. underneath pokok oren ar..bukan kelapa..

o she's one sexy laDy..

2007-04-10T11:41:00.000+08:00

this one goes out
to all the sexy lady out there..

hey.. sexy lady.. o o o sexy lady..
listen to what i say..
oh lady what a lady you are
you lips are sweet like chery
with a rubber tougue
you kiss me gently
o what a great kisser you are

you really know how to please a man
with you looks you blind my eyes
with you words you promise me heaven
you let me hug you
you let me kiss you
you let me touch you
you let me love you
now you have me
you really have pleased me
and i let you left your footprint on my hearts

no doubt you can squeeze me
treat me like no other
making me fly making me smile
to the end of the world
live a moment in heaven
shared only by two souls

now you have left
struck my heart make it bleed
leaving me with the eternal wound
that would not heal for life
what is the good of having
the pretiest cloth on the stage
when anyone and everyone wear it?

wish you luck with the new owner
hope you don't rot and loose your gum
i have tried but a girl like you i think
just to be treated like shit by men
and cry to have someone by your side
when age has got their hands on you..

just how much time worth?

2007-04-06T14:02:00.000+08:00

what a weekend.. job offers still flowing.. damn.. wish that i'm so AVAILABLE but sad not anymore.. finally i conclude the 2nd stage of my mini project ' silence' with my last few posts.. all about the 'fcuking wankers' .. can't wait to kill them.. yeah.. and i meant every word i said.. one day.. one day i'll got my chance.. KILL EM ALL!

darn!.. hehee.. i'm sick.. and no doubt getting weaker everyday.. wish GOD would stand up for me.. if HE really exist.. i wish.. just wondering how really powerful HE is.. they said HE is almighty but i guess HE's not that mighty afterall if HE can't hear what our heart says right? don't you dare to say about timing.. the time is just right now!

may all the wankers.. fall in the pit of shits and cursed to eternal damnation.. shit will return to shit.. yeah thats where they belong especially you know who.. all my prayers to those shit.. i cursed you in every word and every things that i do, i cursed you when i wake up in the morning, i cursed you in my sleep, i cursed you in my life, i cursed you when i die, i cursed you for eternity.. wankers.. FCUK YOU ALL!

'i am IR fu - C. King' the bastard

2007-03-30T11:34:00.000+08:00

i'm back with more crap
this is my style this is my rap
a crap for shits to the ugly mole
IR fu-C king of asshole
what? haven't you heard about him..
he's favorite line is 'i am IR fu-C king'
yeah another piece shit of shit
claim to be IR as if an engineer
yeah what another breed of a wanker
just like ah jeff the loser

with big popping eyes
he rock your cradle
with his ugly thick lips
he lick ass everyday
eating shit was his favorite
drinking piss was his liking
well he is ' i am IR fu-C king'

engineered to be a piece of shit
just like ah jeff the wanker
yeah you know him..
once a great wanker
but now with a broken dick!
such a loser oh what dickhead..

ah jeff - the wanker with a broken dick

2007-03-22T17:15:00.000+08:00

this is a little story
i heard somewhere from someone..
ancients ago there was this piece of shit
a great loser with a smelly arm pit
the name was ah jeff oh what brat
i'm getting my hands dirty to give him a spat

ah jeff has a face of a duck walk like a chicken
a drug addict look alike when you see him around
he talks rubbish everyday
telling people how great he is
act as an extra but claim to be the movie star
his acting sucks some goes to his life
it really wonders me how he is still alive

pity to his parents for having a wankerd
one disgrace to the great big family
for having a big mouth no body
a poor loser that squeez from people
more pathetic than any beggar in this world
oh what another sucker and he's damn old

all he got is all pieces of crap
took 7 years licking his teachers ass
to bought his way to a degree
oh man no i think i'm gonna vommit
you name it
ah jeff is really one big pile of shit

ah jeff is a born wanker
a total loser with a broken dick
ah jeff oh a jeff
why you so a loser
and your dick is broken
too sad you cant fcuk anymore

ah jeff oh ah jeff..
you a wanker a damn stupid wanker
your dick is broken
and now want to fcuk some more?
stop wanking and get another dick
o dickhead azzzz F!
the wanker with a broken dick

*wankerd - wanker+nerd!
*F for fcuker written all over his fcuking face..

e.t. - my big fat cousin

2007-03-14T11:30:00.000+08:00

she my big fat cousin
o she's an alien
comes from outer space
thats why we called her e.t.
a cute name for an extra terrestrial
but she's so fat unlike her cute name

well e.t oh yeah she my big fat cousin
living across the street
everyday its so annoying to see her
with short leg and no ass
wow what an ugly scene
in a wonderful early morning
but all is spoilt when you see her boobs
made of extra fat but its flat
hanging banging you dont want to see

e.t. like to wear tight gears
try to model but she damn short
wear glasses but try to act pretty
with her lens she looks more ugly
owh how ugly i can't stand to see
she got not ass meat but fat
sticking out from her tight jeans
oh please cousin wake up wake up
try to be normal for heaven sake
look at the mirror and see your fat leaking
put it in coz its so fcuking disgusting

e.t you're damn fat
o she damn fat
very fat extremely fat
but she's my cousin
my big fat cousin
oh yeah she's my big fat cousin!

cousin why you so fat?
damn chubby what a bum
a fatty and also a dumb
o e.t so damn blury
o e.t so damn fat
try to act pretty
o my o my o fat cousin e.t

a little something

2007-03-09T17:16:00.000+08:00

faith
-you can't do anything to change the way things goes

hope
-you haven't find your grace

love
-you in heaven but you feel as you were in hell

people ask me why 'oren'? need not to answer more.. you know it yourself once you feel rich eventhough your poor, feel alright eventhough its not OK, experience hell eventhough you in heaven, to live in hate, anger, revenge for something that is really worth it, for wanting to kill your own best friend for fcuking with your girlfriend and to miss someone though they hate you! damn, what a fcuking loser to fcuk an already fcuked hole? i just dont understand...

a man without a heart

2007-03-07T13:33:00.000+08:00

she come to me with a face of an angel
come one day posed at a perfect angle
disguise in a beatiful tempting figure
lucious lips that touch my virgin tougue
her naked eyes that strip my soul off
and rip my heart apart

her rosy cheek with her flirty attitude
could make any man do anything for her
there was this one time she went on top of me
making me say uh ah oh and ouch
oh man i couldn't describe how hot we are
but enough to say only sweat there are

how to let her go when she's all i need
giving me love sqeezing my juice
loving me tenderly making me sweat
always make me smile but who would have guess
she left me permanently handicapped
a man without a heart

TIMEOUT!

2007-02-27T11:56:00.000+08:00

TIMEOUT! i'm damn tired.. finally finish with the 1st stage of my mini project, codename SILENCE, result- my last 3 posts.. feedbacks really flowing in, sorry, i don't have all the time to attend all your misery or whatsoever.. sorry to regular visitors, will continue once the timing is right with more quality presentation.. still 3 more stage to go with lots of parental advisory materials.. make sure when you continue reading, your a at a legal age. again, PARENTAL ADVISORY is highly advised.

Q & A
"I'M SO STRESS.. I DON'T LIKE WHAT I SEE, I DON'T LIKE WHAT I READ, I DON'T LIKE YOU AND YOUR CRAP! and I WANT YOU TO CLOSE THIS BLOG.. etc.. etc.."

This is what you suppose to do- ~///@> 1>2>3>4!

1. STOP READING!
*if you wish to continue, make sure you read my disclaimer. Please, if you think you some how related or associated with my fantasy work from my imaginative cum creative retarded insane unsound evil wicked mind, with all do respect, i'm sorry, you don't. all my work i dedicate to my close homies, regular friendly sarcastic visitors solely for public entertainment.. again, this is just fun material, not facts or reliable resources. i don't ask anything from you, so don't ask anything from me.. thank you..

2. IMMEDIATELY EXIT FROM THE SITE
*you can do so by closing your internet browser or proceed to your next preferable website.

3. NEVER COME AGAIN

4. MAKE SURE YOU DO NO. 3!
*you should forget about this site and never ever come again

_in the end, ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME_
digging my own graves getting ready to die
laying inside 7 feet under
waiting for hell escorted by lucifer
i will go no further
just steps away..away where i might belong
i commit sins and i am cursed
my heart and mind is disturbed
got this little voice inside my head
keep on yelling in front of me
release the dark in you and shall be set free
from the unseen chains thats bound your weak soul
so on that day.. i sold my soul to the devil..

1 hug - 1st date, 1st movie, 1st kiss

2007-02-26T15:10:00.000+08:00

oh i dont wanna let you go..
it was a dark night i was getting ready for bed
my syg msg me 'oh laling can i meet you now?'
in her message she sounds so frantic
get up and put my cloths on
oh syg please dont get so panic
so rush i didn't bother
and there i run towards my syg arms

upon meeting my anny in the streets
it was that day, our very first hug
didn't even expect it would come from her
for she's the one who made the first move
she hug me and it felt so warm
and whispers in my ears 'max i'm glad you here..'
baby.. now let me make it clear
max will always be here, anything for my anny..

from that hug love grows
i really really have fall for her
like mushrooms after the long rains
thats how fast our love is and always remains
then we move on to our first movie
yeah i still remember it was 'Ant Bully'

in the theater she was so shy
meet up some friends passing by
holding hands till its get wet
don't even have the chance to sweat
before the movie we eat our dinner
i saw some senior sneaking at her
they ask me, hey max is that..?
o yeah..she's my anny..

on the way back she sitting beside me
in the red car playing sweet felt so horny
put her lips on my cheek
making me blush till my heart stop beating
oh don't stop anny.. damn you so sweet girl!

the radio was off dunno whats wrong
she said syg.. let me sing a song
so she started the stars are blind
oh baby i am so damn blind..

upon reaching back i give her
a short sweet kiss on her forehead
a sign of a blessing to have her in my life
in hope we'll be happy together till the end of time
in the campus she don't wanna go home
so we park in the parking lot
sitting there in the dark
holding hands and sharing our feelings
that was the time so fast yet felt like a lifetime
where you wish it could stop and move at the same time
and there its goes
our very first long kiss in that long cold nite..

when cupid struck - heaven on earth is real

2007-02-23T10:23:00.000+08:00

It all begin at that day
sameday around this day sometime ago
we met in a church where i go to pray
but all i do was sit and wondering
my my mind wasn't there because of this pretty girl
sittin behind me making my heart beat at abnormal rate
who is this girl? i asked myself

i thought it was just somethin
another pleasure in my lifetime
seeing pretty human passing by in front of me
i never know fate is so twisted
a meeting that ends with love affair
thats when i realize when cupid struck no one can stop
two hearts to beat as one and the damaged is done
all is set and become permanent

the meeting wasnt long
just a handshake and a casual chat
yeah nothin much
after that long chats in the m.i.r.c
exchanging info about what we face each day
i got to know that she from the north of where i live
yeah life have really been great
for i got someone to look for
sharing our feelings each day

without knowing the love started to kick in
is this fate because i swore to myself
never ever to ever fall in love again
but GOD has shown how great HE is
sent a cupid to stroke my heart
without a noise without a sign
love has grow and our feelings attached
when it starts nobody knows
the next thing i realize she was by my side
and i felt like heaven on earth is so real

got this one time when she went for a trip
in her room resting on her crib
she sent me an sms saying
that she checked our zodiac
to see what our fate will be
a taurus girl and a pisces boy
a perfect match it said
with deep empathy and spiritual connection
that will turn a relationship upside down
into a lasting union till the end of time
and the message ended with her saying
'i miss you my laling'..

meet my girl - a story about my sumandak

2007-02-21T10:32:00.000+08:00

this is a tribute to a lovely sumandak
that i once knew..
did you ever met a girl that was so perfect
you waited for her coz you know she's worth it
here's my story about this girl i date
long time ago way back during my school days

her name is anny and she likes ice cream
but dont give her much coz she got high easily on sugar
everytime she does it makes me love her more
about me and anny whenever we walk in streets
every eyes sets with envy
even my best friends set their eyes on her
they wonder how we were made for each other
oh shit.. later will tell you guys how they made me really fucked up and took her

she was about my height with the perfect posture
it feels great everytime i hug my anny
everything seems blur and feels so great
where my heart beats fast slow and sometimes stop
for she took all my breath away.. oh how i long to be in her arms again

she used to call me her laling her sayang and other sweet names
and i replied back nearly the same
she always says 'sayang im not good enough for you'
'coz i have this past that makes me can't go on with you'

she was the greatest girl that i ever knew
who can make me wild and go crazy all the time
i even did all things that i would never do
not even the things that have crossed my mind

there was this time when we walk through the night
it was raining and we had ice cream
i sent her back to her crib
she was wet and we hug for the very first time
and thats when she said 'i was really grateful for you were with me'
and that moment my hearts really really fall for her
and i decide to give her the rest of my heart
for i knew she was the one that i will remember till the end of time

this would not be long for i just got a few more to say
so i dedicate the rest of the story
to my lovely sumandak
the story that everyone has long forgotten
but forever she will be in my heart
always forever and ever ever ever..

owh damn.. how i long to feel 'oren' again
and only she can make me
that perfect juice of all
squezzing every drop out of me
oh anny oh syg oh laling oh my sweet oren..
when can you squeeze me again huh? ;)

kudos, happy CNY, etc..

2007-02-16T08:15:00.000+08:00

i didn't post much these days.. getting busier with life earning money and spending it with my love ones.. working life is great! freebies (movie tickets, concert tickets, dinner/lunch invitation,product launch, meetings, outing, team building, etc.. p/s: damn- those car models are HOT!) during weekdays, and party all nite long during weekends ;) to all that have been supporting and appreciating this little piece of the disturb mind of mine, i would like to say thank you.. to all - HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! stay tune to my coming post, it would be in some form of borneon rap style, i'll post some of the words or the one they called lyric? is it? i don't know, don't even care.. the so called rhythm is still under development.. i've been experimenting the power of my so called creative minds, ehehe, kudos to my rap sifu.. hehe.. it would be in ten parts.. the stories - it would be based on the real 'oren' stories. no cheating man! its what i experience and those moments.. it was the greatest moments of my life - my moment of glory.. check it out! you'll be suprise..

sad valentine

2007-02-12T16:50:00.000+08:00

it was sometimes ago, when i promised a girl, to be hers forever, this was suppose to be our 1st valentine, the unseen connection between us.. in those forbidden time, in that sweet intimate moments, in a world of our own, in our private place, i look into her eyes and give her everything, i guess who wouldn't? but now, all that is left, is just the scent of her unforgetful
smells and a deep scar in my heart, living in those moments, all silent and dark, 2 souls touch and become 1.. if only i could bend the time and space, i hope that moment could be
paused till the end of time, today.. both hurts but nothing can be done, and now, every chinese new year would not be the same again as all the sweet oranges have turn sour.. WHY? oren itu masam..

-me and me and me and ... -
once upon a time..
my friends betray me
my girl ditch me
and now i learnt to see
that friend was a loser
and the girl was a bitch

that friend was and always will be the loser cum asshole but was she ..?
I HOPE TO LIVE LONG TO FIND THAT OUT! ;)

weekends oh weekends

2007-02-09T16:06:00.000+08:00

here comes another weekend..gosh, thank GOD i finally got time to rest and not to wake up really early in the morning to beat the traffic, really been busy working up my ass attending functions, here and there.. i havent even got to enjoy my personal time alone or really concentrate doing my job, meeting new people here and there is really tiring, imagine collecting more than 50 business cards from different organization in a week!.. 10 weeks of this, i would have collected 500 business cards.. damn..

started from the launching of Microsoft Windows Vista (special invitation, 2 days before the official launch at lowyat plaza, the food was great! hahaaa.. shit man.. the girl promoter was H.O.T!) to HP Print World, invitations to all sort of events seems to have no end, please.. count out the dinner and lunch invitations, hahaa.., i already got more than 10 table calendar and personal planner eventhough its quite late.. its February man! damn.. that scuks.. got nothing else to give is it? hahaa.. not forget to mention all sort of weird door gifts, special token of appreciation and free food that i got just for showing up my face in their function for a few minutes.. hahaa.. the latest one was le tour de langkawi.. shit man! i got special pass to meet all the cyclist, hahaa.. hahaaa.. having the chance to get out from the office with a good excuse, who would pass that? ..hahaaa.. weekends.. i love weekends.. oh my weekends.. here i come!

FCUK AEZF! FCUK AIEMR! hahaaa.. even in a far away, the land of no where, it has reach to me from reliable sources that they still ass lickin ball suckin LOSERs, and always will.. gosh! they really are born LOSERs!

me and my boss

2007-02-05T14:04:00.000+08:00

another week has passed.. darn, workloads seems to be infinite around me.. though i seem to be enjoying the ride, waves of challenges come and go, but thank GOD, i seem to surf well in these waves.. once again i am grateful.. being far from everyone i know, the world seems so alien, oh GOD, lucky there is always sweet angels around.. yeah man.. friendly girls never fail to amused me.. GOD oh GOD.. what is my purpose here.. is it just to be with my good bald boss.. or the answer is blowing in the wind?

how many roads must a man walk down
before you call him a man?
how many times can a man turn his head
and pretend that he just doesn't see?
how many times must a man look up
before he can see the sky?
how many ears must one man have
before he can hear people cry?
how many deaths will it take till he knows
that too many people have died?
the answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
the answer is blowin' in the wind.
-bob dylan, blowing in the wind

Runaway

2007-02-02T12:46:00.000+08:00

runaway - del shannon

as I walk along
i wonder a-what went wrong
with our love
a love that was so strong
and as I still walk on
i think of the things we've done
together, a-while our hearts were young

i'm a-walkin' in the rain
tears are fallin' and I feel the pain
wishin' you were here by me
to end this misery
i wonder I wa-wa-wa-wa-wonder
why Ah-why-why-why-why-why she ran away
and I wonder
where she will stay
my little runaway
run-run-run-run-runaway

-it does wonder me.. all the time.. why did she runaway.. away from me..

the missing

2007-01-29T12:54:00.000+08:00

its been a long time since i've post to this blog.. really have been busy adjusting my life in the new environment. working life is really boring, waking up early in the morning just to beat the traffic but still come late to punch the stupid card, rushing home driving among the crazy drivers just to find out that you got nothing to do before dinner and nite slumber.. though my weekends life is really something.. thank GOD.. thats the only thing that makes me feel that im still breathing, other than my monthly pay for doing nothing.. hahaa.. living among the bad boys, we always find something to do,if not just hanging around enjoying our deadly sticks while drinking red bull M-b.e.e.. hopefully i could pick up the pace in my life.. so many times so little fun things to do, if only i was back home.. a moment is just to precious to waste.. i wish i could make the world a better place for me, damn.. these days time passes so slow.. like a living body dying slowly till you can feel that lives has been suck out from you and keep loosing your senses a little at a time.. once in a while.. i do miss my 'oren'..

monologue:-
there will be a time when you have reach the edge of your dreams.. standing there looking at your past.. with a smile on your face, you said to yourself.. i wonder how i have change the world today.. i have left a small footnote of my life in this huge 'his'story of mankind.. this is my final stand not ever will i regret all the ugly things that i have done, for i did it in my own will, and that has made me the humble person that i am, for today no one can take all the things that i have done, the things that i have change, the feelings that i left behind in the hearts of the people that know me.. forever all the glories and the memories are and always be mine.. my life.. my sweet 'oren'.. always..

FCUK AEZF! FCUK AIMER! hahahaaaaa..

the world shake with me

2006-11-22T14:05:00.000+08:00

wow! what happen? when you shake the world shake with you.. how do you did that?-here are some of my dirty little secrets and it never fails me ;)

Ways To Stand Out And Be Noticed
When you're in the dating scene, one of the first steps to getting a date is actually getting noticed by someone! The next time you're planning a night out on the town, take a moment to ask yourself, "What can I do to make someone want to talk to me instead of the person next to me?" lets get started!

Always carry a smile!
People are typically attracted to others that make them feel good about themselves, or life in general. A smile is an excellent icebreaker, and when given to people you'd like to talk to, it brings you one step closer to "first contact."

Make eye contact with people.
Eye contact can be a very powerful unspoken communication. Poets and lovers alike seem to always tell about these unforgettable moments where all that happened was a captured moment of eye contact between two people. If you use this tool properly, you can create a sense of allure, mystery and desirability.

Take the time to really look great!
No matter how politically correct it is, the person who took the time to look great will usually get the most attention. Use this to your advantage and wear flattering clothes, colors and hair styles.

Use your sense of humor.
Ask someone what the one thing they love about their partner is and you'll get
answers like: their personality and sense of humor. Laughter makes people forget about
their cares. If you can do that, you'll not only stand out, but you'll leave a lasting impression.

Actively participate in your surroundings.
If you're at a party, do the things you'd expect to see someone do at a party. Dance, mingle, and
chat with people. If you're at a meeting or class, actively participate. It may sound simple, but it gets people to notice you and possibly be interested in learning more about you. Things that make you say... OMG... OH MY GOD!

p/s: i got this once before -you're hot, naughty, terrific, terrible, crazy dude, the man, mr.playboy.. etc.. in short, i stand out from the crowd and get myself noticed! ;)

a lovely 'death note'?

2006-11-20T01:07:00.000+08:00

a tribute to the old skool - a lovely death note

"...KADANG2 TUHAN HILANGKAN SEKEJAP MATAHARI KEMUDIAN DIA BERIKAN GURUH DAN KILAT. PUAS KITA MENANGIS MENCARI MATAHARI TAPI......RUPANYA TUHAN HADIAHKAN PELANGI YANG INDAH..."

XXX days today,
The day of great grievance to my heart,
The day you left me with less than a note,
The day you had my heart minced,
And fed it to the ocean,
The day my heart glassed,
And fall into thousand pieces,
The D-day, my heart goes to war...
Against all love and affections,
And yet I still miss you dearly...

The sun setting in the Far East,
As is the light in my heart...
Or at least what's left of it,
My soul is cold. Numb to all hopes,
The very life of me is draining...
Like a river meeting the vast sea,
Where the fresh water meets the salt,
Loosing its pure virtue to temptation,
And yet my mind still wanders to your side,
Like a moth to a flame...

The man has now left you… alone,
Should I be happy? I’m not,
Justice prevails says the hero. None like me,
For I’m confusedly sad, profoundly angry,
Although I was hurt… still hurting,
But in all honesty... your happiness is always my prayer,
I may have set you free… embracing all the joy in life,
But I've never let you go... even now hopes linger,

My end is coming... sooner than the parting moon,
The stars in the nightly skies seem but a reach away,
And the ground underneath my stomp is but a huge mattress,
Promising a comfy peace to lie upon,
And yet my thought plunges to the probability realm,
What if I could be saved, would my savior be you?
What if I could learn to forgive?
Would I find someone true?
Easing my suffering, resting my soul,
Before the setting sun rises no longer,
And yet my earthly body long for yours.

p/s: dearly miss and forever lives in our hearts.. your soul parted but the memories remains, all you work is a masterpiece.. rest in peace!

i wish i was the hulk

2006-11-17T21:27:00.000+08:00

p1: you know man, fcuk you, i cant trust you anymore, stop about this girl craze..
p2: you sure did fcuked up, but you just you didnt fcuk up so much as u fcuuuuuuukep up
me: you know what? you find somebody and its just feel right..
p2: its like fate..
me: exactly, it was my fate to meet her
p2: but it wasn't your fate to be with her, unfortunately my friend, fate has a different plan for you, you will grow up, go out into the world, you will forget all the things that happen here, a***, a****, n***, the shits we pull, the crazy stuffs we did and you know, you gonna go out there and no one, no one can shoot you down because a woman one time step down on your heart and left that scar and its wicked, that is your fate m**, just as it was my fate that will one day..

huh? what is that all about? hahaa.. yeah.. but i did burst out to rage, hehee, sorry guys.. lucky i'm not the hulk.. seems i really need to take anger management course.. sh!t, i need to disappear for a while.. life is so screwed up.. hahaa.. sorry girl.. people keep pushing me around.. asking why it must be you.. its just that i saw the sign and it open up my mind.. anyway.. i did meant every word i said.. i do favor you among all the girls i met now and then, extra 1%, hahaa.. i do LOVE you.. anonymous infamous 'laDy' my laling my 'oren' my boing~ boing~.. ;) hahaa.. by the way, i am only human too.. yeah, lets see what happen in next few months.. i lost to fate now.. i wonder what is the great plan fate have for me.. if i really were destined to be great, fate will take its own course and make me great.. hahaa.. i can't change the past but i always can plan for the future, i really like to see you in my future.. always.. damn i'm going crazy all over again and its all about you, sh!t i hate myself! i hate me that keeps loving you.. this heart of mine, if i can replace it.. how wonderful it is, no more pain.. no more sufferings.. why did GOD ever let you touch it, love it, pamper it.. and now.. arghhhh, nevermind, heartless people would never understand right? pathetic scukers.. you will never know.. the special 'oren' feel.. because you scuks, stinks like sh!t thats why.. hahaa.. hey scukers.. go find your own 'oren' somewhere.. quit fcuking around in my playground.. well.. in the end.. never will i surrender and lose.. again.. cause i am the genius in planning.. i am.. once the 'brain' of the 10 kings.. emm.. hahaa..

feel 101%

2006-11-11T00:16:00.000+08:00

well, they ask me this, hehe, what is your girl made up? emm, feel 101% of pure 'oren' that can make people go boing~ boing~ all the time, haha.. really, does she? nah.. too much credits already, huhu, its been quite sometimes since i really blog about her.. haha.. thank GOD, i got to keep it down, hehe.. let what happen between us remains with us, or else how am i going to play around eh? hehe.. oh devil, please, stop your temptation, haha.. very hard to resist, learnt my lesson the hard way but they only thing i learnt is.. hehe, is it bad? or good? a luck for me? as to repay for what i lost? haha.. may be.. how many i would be.. should i or should not i enjoy my life flirting around with peoples feelings? yeah, i wonder what would i be in the next few months, will i turn out bad when i go out to the wilderness of human and concrete jungles? i already got the 'X' factor, haha, thats enough to shake the life of people around me, i just need to used it.. damn man, why tell me i got it all along, hehe, scuks, all the small things, concern people do notice, proven by me! a great lesson i learnt.. notice all the small things, they do mean something.. haha.. real life is trully, really, greatly fcuked up.. thank GOD, haha.. damn.. i wonder how many girls can i do, will i ever do twins in a go? triplets? haha, sh!t.. hey there world, this what i learnt in the past few months, keep flirting with girls and you got to keep them, fall in love and they will runaway, haha.. another great lesson i learnt apart from all the small things ;) ..\/, peace! the bad boy m***? sounds good, hahaa.. next time it would be just flings and bodily lust to fulfil, sorry, no offense, hahaa.. say no to weird feelings, love forever and specially.. never ever have emotional attachment.. wow, what a change i must make.. hahaa.. dump them anytime we want right? hahaa.. well, if got new fresh toys, why bother to keep the old ones, by the way, we got a screw driver not a screw holes.. cherios..

when a guy.. when a girl..

2006-11-09T14:48:00.000+08:00

When The Guy.. When The Girl..
- another manual by 'eV0n'

When a GUY is quiet,
its because he's shy and he doesn’t know the right words to say...

When a GUY is not arguing,
its because he's had enough~!!!

When a GUY looks at u with eyes full of
questions, he's wondering if you have slant eyes.
Haha. Just kidding la. He's wondering if this is all
for real and not just a dream....

When a GUY answers "I’m fine" after a few
seconds, it really means he's fine. REALLY~!

When a GUY stares at you,
its because he thinks you're beautiful~!

When a GUY lays on your chest,
ummm...okay...that never happens coz its usually
the other way around....

When a GUY calls you everyday,
it’s because he's lonely and he just wants to hear
your voice...

When a GUY wants to see you everyday,
he's addicted to you..seriously addicted..to you...

When a GUY sms's u everyday,
its because he's lonely and he's concerned about you...

When a GUY says I love you,
he's serious. He really loves you and is really committed~!

When a GUY says that he can't live without you,
that’s pretty much the truth~!

When a GUY says "I miss you",
its means you've been gone for too long and he really
misses you , needs you and loves you...

When a GIRL is quiet,
Millions of things are running in her mind.
When a GIRL is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply.

When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions,
She is wondering how long you will be around.

When a GIRL answers "I’m fine" after a few seconds,
She is not at all fine.

When a GIRL stares at you,
She is wondering why you are lying.

When a GIRL lays on your chest,
She is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a GIRL calls you everyday,
She is seeking for your attention.

When a GIRL wants to see you everyday,
She wants to be pampered.

When a GIRL sms's u everyday,
She wants you to reply at least once.

When a GIRL says I love you,
She means it.

When a GIRL says that she can't live without you,
She has made up her mind that you are her future.

When a GIRL says "I miss you",
No one in this world can miss you more than that.

could a girl be this perfect?

2006-11-07T14:58:00.000+08:00

How To Find a good QuaLity Women/Girl to be your GF/Wife
-a manual by 'eV0n'

Here are a few qualities you should look for in a woman if you're interested in a long-term relationship. Whenever you hear I say "good character" in a woman, I am referring to these qualities.

A good girlfriend should be:

1) Honest
Never date a liar. Once a liar, always a liar. A woman who has lied to you over and over will lie
to you again in the future. You can count on it.

2) Loyal
Once a cheater, always a cheater. Just like a woman who has lied to you once will often lie again, a woman who has cheated once will often cheat again.

3) Socially Skilled
Find a woman who can get along with anyone. If a woman "hates the world" or people in general, that's usually a sign there're deeper problems with her.

4) Fun to be with
Date women with a fun personality. A boring woman will drive you crazy as soon as the initial hormone-driven honeymoon period is over.

5) Adventurous and open-minded
Find a woman you can travel and explore the world with. Narrow-minded women usually have
limited foresight and get boring after awhile.

6) Cultured, classy and sophisticated
Cultured women often make a better companion if you live in a big city. (If you don't, it doesn't really matter.)

7) Frugal
Beware of golddiggers. They will drain your bank account empty and then leave without looking back.

8) "Clean"
Your girlfriend should be currently clean of any drug or alcohol problems.

9) Flexible
Try to find someone who's willing to compromise. A spoiled princess will drive you nuts eventually.

10) A positive thinker
This one is very important. Pessimistic people will drain all your energy out of you.

p/s: i guess my dream girl is not as perfect as this, but her difference is what makes me feel a complete person, balance both in good and evil. hahaha.. muax! girl.. why i keep going crazy about you.. go boing~ boing~ all the time.. hahaa.. damn i wish, i wish.. i never can wish.. but still hope i can wish.. sh!t, what a screwed up ending of my life here, thx to all the losers around me, fcuk you guys.. one day guys one day.. if our path shall cross again, i'll make sure you pay back whatever you owe me, go fcuk yourself! hahaa.. fcuk flower horn muka babi.. fcuk thick lips shit eating fish.. one day.. payback time.. one day.. the wheel is round, yeah its round.. losers, you all are lucky enough now, i let you all go for honouring our so called long years of friendship, yeah, this time you all have cross the line, people like this will never understand what true friendship means, they like to take advantage on other people, you give your back to your friends so that they pat on it and comfort you but what they did was to take a knife and stab you while you dont see it.. they scuks people, really scuks! anyone will feel like shooting their asses and make one big hole through it, haha.. FCUK outstage MC, FCUK thick lips, hahaa.. bodoh! palui! tak sedar diri! perasan! sial! kimak! anjing! tapir! taik! tant@!@u! oops, control.. control.. haha.. and i will never forget that, dont expect i will give face next time, mark my word man! blood shall flow next time, yours or mine..

diari seorang teman

2006-11-06T18:15:00.000+08:00

wakakaka.. yo bro, dont get mad at me, they pass this to me ok? go and blame the people around you, hahaa.. sorry, we all read it already man.. your past.. oops, i shouldn't laugh, we all will not laugh, all the best man, keep it going and just get on with it, yeah, girls come and go, hehe.. shit, i miss my girl, STOP! i want to do cheap publicity- I L.O.V.E n M.I.S.S my 'oren' @ boing boing ~ hahaha.. fcuk it! haha.. emm, it really wonders me how a stone cold male beast could actually turn to a gentle creature inside when they in love? and how that same being turn to the most fearful creature just to get revenge, careful girls, once you get involve, you will never ever get away without being hurt.. damn! i do pity on you girls, but nevertheless, when i read the entries in the diary, it puzzled me a lot.. who start this cycle in the first place? male or female? give me the answers! hahaha.. ok, here it goes..

mm.dd.yyyy
i am so happy to meet you
i am so happy that you look at me
i am so happy to get close to you
yeah, you just make me yours
and forever yours only
my soul and body could belong to another
but my heart will always be yours..

mm.dd.yyyy
i wonder how we will be in few years
would we be still together or forever depart from each other
just like others
i miss our moments together
holding hands and ****** under the full moon
damn you a great ****** and i miss it a lot
oh, i miss you.. but why.. why let others in..

mm.dd.yyyy
it was holidays
i am alone and lonely
walking and travelling with no where to go
went to all the places that we went before
yeah, this is where we had our 1st date
how i miss loving you
all guys go crazy on you
they envy me
how i long to have you in that way
again and forever, envious to be mine..

mm.dd.yyyy
2 weeks to go before i left
i was very nervous and scared
i was afraid that i will forever lost you
i wish you were here
you saved me once
you been everythin to me ever since
i wish you could save me from all this once more
GOD, why now? after years of agony, YOU let me taste the sweetness to love again
and now, u took it back? why GOD, why?

mm.dd.yyyy
i know now, to her it was just a fling
am i just another spared tyre to her
once used is useless
where all the promises and sweet words she said to me
i know.. actually she doesnt like me very much
i know.. but is ok because i love her very much
she'll know what i feel someday

mm.dd.yyyy
today is a happy day for me
but i just can't stop crying
i only cry today and never again
but today i miss her more than ever
really miss her..

p/s: its a long list of entries.. i can't post the rest, ehem ehem, you all should have been able to figure out what happen eh? this was long time ago, a few years back? hehehe.. the stories.. emm, really reminds me of someone, haha.. me? nah.. and now i am proud to say he is one of the most wanted male among us, girls go crazy when this man smiles, hahaa.. well, girls.. they do come and go eh bro.. dont play too much, you getting older each day, ehehe, please consider retirement and settle down one of the lovely girls ok? give us some chance here, we all dont stand a chance if you around, you lady killer, hahaha.. girls dearie, don't blame all the males, some of you did this, i meant play and toy with us, when the game is over, another male player is born, should i thank you or no thank you? i can't say anything and i'm not taking any sides, at least not for now, both is to blame right? both need to work things out, i only be able to pray and hope that this cycle will end.. will it? ever? huhu, a writer once said, the kingdom of heaven exist in peoples mind and heart, therefore, it could never be taken or conquered, as long as people live out of love, it will always exist! i do believe that love will conquer all, but now and then.. where is the love? think about it.. i wonder if i will turn up just like THE MAN, yeah, will I? to be THE MAN? hopefully not~ but what if i am destined to? i will accept my fate, hahaa, all the pleasure is mine~ touch and go babe.. touch and go.. the guru taught me this but i never apply it before.. maybe its time to practice.. haha.. ok.. thats all.. THE END! hahaha..

all my life

2006-11-05T04:12:00.000+08:00

hello guys, its been a while since my last post huh? haha, sorry, have been busy dealing with life.. so, what is it about this time? rage? anger? love? or just a lost feeling.. haha..ok, none of those i guess.. have you ever sit down in the dark at 4.04 am in the morning and just stare at the glaring lovely moon on the sky? yeah, so lovely, that no stars can compare to it.. haha, the stars are blind what? just as the song said, hehe.. what a creation of GOD, so beautiful, i mean the moon, haha, no wonder in malay proverbs, there were once a saying, 'bagaikan pungguk rindukan bulan', now i know why.. huhu.. suddenly feeling so blue.. reminds me of the good old days.. my glory days.. miss those moments, haha.. well, its just sweet memories now.. huh babe? is it? cant fight the moon light huh? those who knows the song, you'll get what i meant, haha.. don't complaint, my life is full of arts.. name it, dances, handicrafts, musics, martial arts, poetry, speeches, whatever.. haha.. i evolved around it, well, creativity is my latent talent, hahaha.. ok, this post is short.. i just want to dedicate the lyric below to my boing boing~ haha, love you! yeah, even if means only in my dream.. all my life my girl, all my life..

I will never find another lover sweeter than you,
Sweeter than you
And I will never find another lover more precious than you
More precious than you
Girl you are
Close to me you're like my mother
Close to me you're like my father
Close to me you're like my sister
Close to me you're like my brother
You are the only one my everything and for you this song I sing

And all my life
I've prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life
I've prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do love me too

I said you're all that I'm thinkin' of.....baby

Said, I promise to never fall in love with a stranger
You're all I'm thinkin' of, I praise the Lord above
For sending me your love, I cherish every hug
I really love you

And all my life, baby, baby, I've prayed for someone like you,
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you, baby
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do love me

You're all that I ever known
When you smile, on my face, all I see is a glow
You turned my life around
You picked me up when I was down
You're all that I ever known
When you smile on your face all I see is a glow
You picked me up when I was down
You're all that I ever known
When you smile on your face all I see is a glow
You picked me up when I was down
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes I pray that you do love me too

All my life
I've prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
Yes, I pray that you do love me too
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
Yes, I pray that you do love me too

say my name

2006-10-31T23:01:00.000+08:00

You entered: ####### #####

There are 12 letters in your name.
Those 12 letters total to 45
There are 4 vowels and 8 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 9

The characteristics of #9 are: Humanitarian, giving nature, selflessness, obligations, creative expression.

The expression or destiny for #9:
The expression that you exhibit is represented bythe number 9. Your talents center in humanistic interests and approaches. You like to help others as you were intended to be the 'big brother or big sister' type. You operate best when you follow your feelings and sense of compassion, and allow yourself to be sensitive to the needs of others. You work well with people, and have the potential to inspire. This suggests that you could successfully teach or counsel. Creative ability, imagination and artistic talent (often latent) of the highest order are present in this expression. It's possible that you're not using or developing all of these capabilities at this time. Some of your talents may have been used at an earlier time in your life, and some may still be latent. Be aware of your capabilities, so that you can make use of them at appropriate times.

If you are able to achieve the potential of your natural expression in this life, you are capable of much human understanding and have a lot to give to others. Your personal ambitions are likely to be maintained in a very positive perspective, never losing sight of an interest in people, and a sympathetic, tolerant, broad-minded and compassionate point of view. You are quite idealistic, and disappointed at the lack of perfection in the world. You have a strong awareness of your own feeling as well as those of others. Friendships, affection, and love are extremely important.

Undeveloped or ignored, the negative side of the 9 expression can be very selfish and self-centered. If you do not actively involve yourself with work that benefits others, you may tend to express just the opposite characteristics. It is your role to be very involved with other people and their needs, but it may be difficult for you achieve this role. Aloofness, lack of involvement, and a lack of sensitivity mark the low road of this expression.

Your Soul Urge number is: 3

A Soul Urge number of 3 means:
With the Soul Urge number 3 your desire in life is personal expression, and generally enjoying life to its fullest. You want to participate in an active social life and enjoy a large circle of friends. You want to be in the limelight, expressing your artistic or intellectual talents. Word skills may be your thing; speaking, writing, acting, singing. In a positive sense, the 3 energy is friendly, outgoing and always very social.

You have a decidedly upbeat attitude that is rarely discouraged; a good mental and emotional balance.

The 3 Soul Urge gives intuitive insight, thus, very high creative and inspirational tendencies. The truly outstanding trait shown by the 3 Soul Urge is that of self-expression, regardless of the field of endeavor.

On the negative side, you may at times become too easygoing and too optimistic, tending to scatter forces and accomplish very little. Often, the excessive 3 energy produces non-stop talkers. Everyone has faults, but the 3 soul urge doesn't appreciate having these pointed out.

Your Inner Dream number is: 6

An Inner Dream number of 6 means:
You dream of guiding and fostering the perfect family in the perfect home. You crave the devotion from offspring and a loving spouse. You picture yourself in the center of a successful domestic unit.

so, what your name means? check your name here!

proud to be different

2006-10-28T00:52:00.000+08:00

hahaha, so what if i'm different from you guys..so what? am i a sissy? a gay? fcuk it man, yeah.. i know..i do like girls and girls only you know, i'm way straight! please, sorry..i got nothing against gays or anything that defines as same gender relationship but yeah, i'm just not the person man, haha, and not all handsome man are gay and not available or the good and nice guys are married, at least, i'm still standing, still single but sorry.. not available! wakakaka..friends..yeah, sure guys..more than that..in your dreams..fcuk you! haha..dont even dare to offer..hehehe..

emm..girls.. so what? i'm different? yeah, way different from any man, let it be my dcik remain placid and unused, so what? its mine anyway..haha..sorry, but i just not the person that stick my 'thing' to almost any holes that they can find, hahaha..you want me..you wish! in your dreams..take my heart away first and you can have me all you want..hahaha..anyway, thanks for all the generous offers..as i said, TEMPORARY NOT AVAILABLE! SERVICE OUT OF REACH, at least for now..hahaha, damnmit! stop it..hahaa, damn i'm proud to be different..

fcuk all copycats! common, be proud of yourself, stop copying others, stop pretending, hehe..i also wish i could do that, hehe..your difference is what makes you special.. if not, it will be a boring life..me? so what if i'm not just like you guys..haha, dont worry, i won't ruin the great reputation and image of a male casanova..play with the girls hearts as you wish..sorry if they benchmark me to you, i'm guilty as charge, ahaha, but i'm just not like you, hahaha, damnmit, where's my species..i hope some is still left around..or i'll be way fcuked up, the rare the product is, the higher the demand and price.. hahaha, simple economics...

yeah, i admit sometimes i got really fcuked up in a relationship, emotionally deeply attached to the other person, yeah, sorry man, its just me, thanks for the priceless adviced, i do know one good thing about having a dcik it not to worry that you will loose anything after a broke up..hahaha, damn thats right, but yeah, its just me..i'm different, totally different and thats why i'm the most wanted future image of a good parter for life, hahaha, shit! i wont be retiring from my bachelor life that early, dont worry..until then..i'll keep myself open, for my future so called GFs - kiss and touch is more than enough ok? don't ask for more..unless you are my DREAM GIRL! hahaha..damn i wish i could give everything i have to her..dream girl..where have you been hiding..

fcuk! i love your girlfriend man!..hahaha..i so hate girls now..stop playing with our hearts..one day you will get your as*es fcuk and ended up regretting it for life, let go those innocent ones ok? please stop it, you will only create another male beast that its sole intention is revenge to the other kind.. it will get young and innocent girls really fcuked up, pity on them, hahaha..eh, about getting fcuk in the as* i only meant it literally..hahaha..how proud am i to be different! yeah, i do create feelings in others that they themselves don't understand.. love you all! ..\/, peace!

damned fishes

2006-10-26T12:47:00.000+08:00

hahaha, this thing tickles me the most, it was one of my friends, stupid jokes or what but yeah, hehehe, damn man, you are damn right, that thing really looks like a flower horn..hahaha, damnmit, big headed thing with stupid problematic attitude of a loser, i never realize in the first place, the world must be so damn blind not to see it too, blinded by sweet words of the flower horn?..hehehe, a sweet talking flower horn? fcuk it man..you giving too much credit already, hahaha..well, they just short of participant, that why, might as well we go and give it a try, the flower horn can make it, us? yeah, i'm sure we all are above the standard, anyway, its just a flower horn, hahaha..big headed ugly 'muka tak sedar diri perangai macam babi', eh, oopss, hahaha..sorry, that thing just came out of my mouth out of no where..anyway, it ryhmes..hehehe..emm, the other one eh? i wonder what kind of fish but i'm sure its also a fish, think about it.. almost the same thing man, a fish..eyes popping, long nose, small nose hole, damn big mouth with thick lips to lick and eat shits? eh, what fish is that? a shit licker? hahaa..stupid, enough with the fish thing, but yeah, fish dont have tongue to lick thats why they have damn thick lips to scuk shits..hahaha..oh GOD, i'll be damned..

Tuhan ku Cinta Dia

2006-10-22T11:23:00.000+08:00

dear friends, thx for evrything, esp for the food and drinks, and the fun games and all the happy singing, damn you guys rocks! CSS rules! hahaa.. lets do it again sometime ya, next time it would be my treat, hahaa, again, thx for spoiling me, hehee, thx for treating me so good, i will keep being your guys angel, ahaha..will keep smiling, laughing and shake your world with my shaky shaky dance of life, no matter how hard it is, will never again you see storm and rain in my eyes but sunhine and rainbow on my face ;) hahaa..eventhough something spoilt the excitement of that day, yeah, scuks man, hehee..but i am very grateful that we had it all along, dear friends..take care..this one goes out specially to the person behind my cute arrogant 'lightning mcQueen', i love you! forever..

-sampai menutup mata-

Embun di pagi buta
Menebarkan bau asa
Detik demi detik ku hitung
Inikah saat ku pergi

Oh Tuhan ku cinta dia
Berikanlah aku hidup
Takkan ku sakiti dia
Hukum aku bila terjadi

Aku tak mudah mencintai
Aku tak mudah mengaku ku cinta
Aku tak mudah mengatakan
Aku jatuh cinta

Senandungku hanya untuk cinta
Tirakatku hanya untuk engkau
Tiada dusta sumpah ku cinta
Sampai ku menutup mata
Cintaku sampai ku menutup mata

Oh Tuhan ku cinta dia
Berikanlah aku hidup
Takkan ku sakiti dia
Hukum aku bila terjadi

the people's voice

2006-10-20T10:58:00.000+08:00

what i say about me?

a lost soul - alive but not living, dead but not departed -

what people say about me?

-in a state of confusion-
p/s: haha, its true friend, thx!

-you just too good to be true-
p/s: im not that perfect but i never treat you bad, did i?

-good in bed-
p/s: where did you hear that? haha, damn, im still a virgin if thats what you mean..a 22 year old virgin..hehe

-a good kisser-
p/s: really? emm..how you know? haha..damn! this is very personal..ehehe..true or false? i dare you!

-just cant find anything wrong with you man-
p/s: because we are close i think.hehe..

-master in setting up own brewery-
p/s: hahaha, thx, feel free to drop by to enjoy some local homemade wine ;)

-king of 'oren'-
p/s: thx ben, hahaha..

-'aramaitii' is your middle name-
p/s: hell yeah..ARAMAITII..

-teriffic & terrible-
p/s: it ryhmes right? well balanced..

-one crazy dude-
p/s: nothing is impossible in our minds..

-wow!-
p/s: no comment..thx!

-hot & naughty-
p/s: hahaha..well, i did shake your world with my shaky shaky dance of life..

-nice to meet you, very nice person-
p/s: really? nice meeting you too, muax! ;) lets date? you hot and sexy too..

-mr.playboy-
p/s: yeah? im still single with 2 ex only, muax! muax! muax! love all my ex.. esp the last one..haha..

-ur da man!-
p/s: whose your daddy now? hahaha

-stay away! your smile is too infectious to me-
p/s: keep smiling girl..or i make you! hahaha..

-once a great lover, too bad i let you go-
p/s: emm, sorry girl, you are once my life..our path cross, we have our chances, but its just not our fate..time will tell.

-i need to know you better, how close can i get to you-
p/s: emm..i think we close enough..

-we really fcuked up that time eh?-
p/s: damn man, we were..

-so serious-
p/s: that was long time ago..

-not self-centered, with friends of wierd attitude-
p/s: true! some i just have to let go, they backstab me man!

-kuat mansau & moginum-
p/s: hehe..

-nice & cool to hang with-
p/s: thank you again

-slob at first, nice at last-
p/s: emm..we get to know better after some time right?

-a very good guy, helping other, always listen to people, kind and gentle-
p/s: lucky you not a girl, if not i would have give it a try! hahaa..

-bila lagi mo declare? what happen to j***?-
p/s: uiks, buss..sia ingat ko mo dia, tu la sia nda kacau, bukan ko ckap ko minat ka, haha..i'm not the kind of person who pursue the same girl that my friend love..unlike some other bastard bah! haha..

- a very intelligent guy here.. always score good result-
p/s: once upon a time ago..thx..

-happy go lucky, a great dude!-
p/s: thx..long live penampang logop FC!..

-kuat study (war mode), cool,pandai makan << bagi je ape2, sure die bole makan-
p/s: emm, rezeki jgn di tolak ;) tapi klu ada org nk buat musuh, lawan jer..

-i still owe you a movie-
p/s: yeah girl..where are you now? haha..thx for the lemon vodka last time..

-respect! memang hensem-
p/s: hahaha,thx girl..

thx people, now still waiting a few more to come..voice out..hahaha, damn, some i ask for bad comments but never seen it, well, it seems i need to put more effort in being bad..

life after 5?

2006-10-19T19:08:00.000+08:00

i really wonder if my life afterwards would be like hers..hahaha, demmit..i'm gonna get rich or die trying..better to give it a shot right, rather than sit and do nothing to change our life that obviously scuks, hahaha..say no to boring life after 5!

read the blog

preview: -

after talking to some , most people also said life after 5 for them is bout the same......how sad!!....

at this stage of life, we are the type " regret bout yesterday, worry bout tomorrow and forgotten bout today!!"...we somehow always think we did not do better yesterday, we have more to do tomorrow and we forgotten today is still going on, in the end we spend today worrying and regretting...

LIFE @ 5 ?? what is your life @ 5??

read the blog

moral fibre

2006-10-16T06:14:00.000+08:00

to a great love and a great friend..

hey there girl..hahaha, how you've been doing..i know you are not so good there but hang on, keep it going, hahaa, you just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, but dont worry, everything will turn out just fine, believe me, no matter how hard life is, you will ended up good if you deserve it, emm..just to let you know, me and others here will cheer you up when you're down, dont worry, even if it means that we have to travel across the sea to meet you, we will do whatever we can, by the power placed in our hands, we will rock your world..hahaha..

about getting your life back? hahaha, no one can give it back but you can always create a better one right, if the time permits, sometimes dreams do come true you know, even not for long, well..about shits that happens in our life..yeah, shits do happen once or twice, especially to great people like us, we are so great that the world turn their attention towards us, thats how we are different, appreciate it, its a blessing not a curse, it is special to be different, emm, as all the great people always said, criticism is actually the recognition of our greatness..hell yeah..we are great people after all..hahaa..

what i can say now is just go on with it, but dont close your ears, we need it as side mirrors, to guide us in our daily lives. keep your heart warm, new people will keep coming and others will stay, let go those who does not deserve you, they are too blind to see how great we are, right? dont close your eyes, we need it to see where we need to go, keep living, keep loving, keep laughing..hehehe, oh yeah..let the shaky shaky dance of our life shake the world of the people around us, after all, their life would be boring without us, right? hahaha, we are the main players in this life, not an underdog nor a blip on the radar screen..we rules! hahaha, 2 great people in one great moment..people will never forget how we turn their lives upside down, hahaha..thats all, take care..

muax! muax! muax! ..lots of love, hugs and kisses..

was it a moral fibre?
mArx -
the one and only king of 'oren'?

a thousand words

2006-10-14T19:14:00.000+08:00

what's with the rage?

2006-10-14T18:21:00.000+08:00

hahaha, i got a lot of criticism from my explicit remarks, well, its all about the rage, i dont care what they think of me, fcuk them all..hahaha, what i think i just put it in words and publish it to the whole world, emm, hahaha, where do i get all this courage from? if you ask me, well, its simply from the bloodline i guess, the blood of a pure headhunter still runs in me, once a headhunter will always be a headhunter, we will fight to defend what we believe, even if it means it will cost our soul, you can take away the life and separate it from the body, but you will never take away the spirit of a headhunter..

as for me, i came from the family that were once the warriors that save the village from the uprising of the mundu(pirates) long time ago, the stories of my ancestors still fresh in my mind, being passed by mouth to mouth from generation to generation, where my ancestors bravely facing the enemies with the ability to make pida (a type of machet) and spears to fly in the air, and the spear that was soaked wet with blood, that was used that day still remains in the family house..even woods turn to rocks, and rocks turn to steel, when my ancestors hit them with their hands, well, whether the stories are true or not, i dont know, but the remainings, yeah, they do exist..

ular celah rumput, singa atas padang

2006-10-14T01:45:00.000+08:00

hahaha, bah, ni post sia yg first in sabah kadus english and malay, hehehe, well, mcm na mo start ni, yes, sia mula dgn tajuk utama kita hari ini, hahaha, ular celah rumput, nah, jaga2, ni jenis org yg sangat bahaya, memang la, makan kawan, bahaya sbb kita nda tau ba dia pura2 sana kaki, trus mo patuk ni, ehehe..sial btul and the worst thing is, org mcm ni exist in my world, yeah, just near me, nasib bek, sempat nmpk o, pura2, nmpk mcm kwn ni, apala, mcm sial, klu betul2 berani, meh la sini, main ular lagi kunun, pukul kac mati baru tau, haha..the world sees u la wei, babi, hahaha, btul la pula, klu kita dgr apa dunia kata, ada suara yg mengadu, eh btul kaitu, hehehe, cuz the philosopher, mcm salah jak yg ko ajar ni, ajaran sesat ka? ko hutang sia sigup lagi tu, nnti sy pg tmpt ko sia intu lagi ar, hahaha..yg ke2, singa atas padang, hahaha, yg ni senang skit, sbb dia buat terang2 buat, ada niat mo suruh minta maaf, kunun la, hahaha, sorry la sial, pls la ok, stop it ok, berhenti guna org len la tapir, mcm buduh ja, eh, biji tanta*** mana, meh la sini klu berani ba, tgk ko kuat sampai mana, perasan btul, anjing pun tia setaraf sama ko, apala.. and 1 dunia tau, ko memang sial, one big loser! hahaha.. u 2 scuks man! well, to all people, beware of this 2 type of people, emm, those close to me, yeah, i think you know them well too, hahaha, just a reminder, jaga2 la, mcm kima dorg ni, patut masuk lubang taik awal2 sbb dorg stinks like shit! eh silap, they are shitS..hehehe..

extras~
mo moderate ka statement sy ni? well, nda payah la kan, i speak whatever is in my mind, thx for those who understand..as i said, its not about love nor about revenge, but whatever in my heart says, sorry la, i will never take back what i said..like it or not, this is what i felt, if you wish, only death can silence me!

my confession

2006-10-13T08:42:00.000+08:00

after so long, i really think i can let my 'laling' go, and ignore the 'oren' feel that we shared, but now, i realized, my passion and love her, is not the same but only grew stronger each time..dammit, people said time heals? well, to me they are wrong, my heart still hurts, the sweet memories drives me crazy all the time, it really hurts every seconds, it hurts if i cant see her, it hurts if i cant spend some time with her, it hurts if i cant think of her, dammit man, why me? why i got selected to play this game they called love, i guess this time i really become the victim of love, i just cant run away from it, please someone, make the game over.. and the days that i live? you all see me smile, you all see me laugh, i make you all laugh, but i let me tell you this..i was never happy, i was never free from all this..let it go? yeah, its not as easy as you all said it you know..how to end this..death perhaps? you all ask, you look happy now..well, my sweet smiling cute face? it was fake..all fake..yeah, i am a great actor am i? the world was deceived by it..huhu..forgive me GOD, i lied to make others happy..it seems that GOD really wants me to become the scapegoat and let others rejoice and be happy with their life? what about me GOD? dont i just deserve a break from all this? when is my time? i really thought it would end after you took my dream away last time..shit, guess my life scuks after all, hahaha..darn, i already plan everthing..but seems that it would only be in my dreams, again!..hahaha..damn, tears! stop falling from my eyelids, dammit, i really screwed up, not only this time, but all the time, hahaha..

p/s:-
af all pains the greatest pain is to love but love in vain!

"Purest of Pain"

I'm sorry I didn't mean to call
but I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak and couldn't even hide it
and so I surrender just to hear your voice
I know how many times I said I'm gonna to live with out you
and maybe someone else is standing there beside you
but there's something baby that you need to know
that deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking.
Vida, give me back my fantasies
the courage that I need to live
the air that I breathe
carino mio, my world becomes so empty
my day's are so cold and lonely
and each night I taste
the purest of pain.
I wish I could tell you I'm feeling better every day
that it didn't hurt me when you walked away
but to tell you the truth I can't find my way
and deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking.
Vida, give me back...

i am a march cutie :)

2006-10-12T21:07:00.000+08:00

MARCH CUTIE

Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous.
Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and
sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does
work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive.
Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good
memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look
for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or
make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and
others. Understanding. Fun to be around.
Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive.
Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and
travelling. Systematic. hot and has brains.

how do you like a pisces for your soulmate? hehehe..common taurus girls, been waiting for my whole life, hahaha..

i live to what i have

2006-10-12T09:13:00.000+08:00

its weird how people never appreciate things that they have, huh? the question keep lingering in my mind, the are lots of people out there who are born lucky, love by everyone, bless by the heavens above and yet, they never realize, whatever they have..damnmit, you all dont deserve that blessings..some are very unfortune, struggling just trying to live in this small world, well, im still in the world of the blind, and my tongue is all i have now to voice my mind, my respect and salute to those people who live and struggle to get a place, to be someone, to be not just a blip on the radar screen, shit man, stupid spoilt people, wake up and look around you, blessings is all around, take it before it goes, damnmit, hahaha, or give it to those who deserve it, shit, luck is not forever you know..regrets? yeah, i got one big regret, never took the chance and give in to the wrong decision just by following soo called what my heart says, and i have it all the time but so stupid and selfish to let it go, stupid am i?..was blinded by love, too naive and young, back then, hahaha, shit, really wonder, the other road shall take me far away from this land, to the place where my dreams once lives..well, just a piece of mind, never let go the things that hold to you, you never know, one day you might regret for not taking the other road, will it ever make a whole difference in your life? yeah, trust me, its a whole different world!

mOe 2 da eSha!

2006-10-11T16:24:00.000+08:00

a tribute to m0e 2 da eSha! you will never walk alone girl..

read the blog!

preview: -
Three years on, three chapters of the relationship passed. Dancing in the rain, candles in the bedroom, serenades with the guitar, song dedications, late night phone calls, I left all of these behind, for what? For three break-ups, endless tears, raging anger, raising voices, dropping grades, nervous breakdowns [almost], public humiliation, unfaithfulness, lies…this is what I had been reduced to. And now I have been left with nothing but pain in my heart. Nevertheless I still loved him with all my heart. I beared with it, I believed his lies, I believed him when he said he loved me and wanted to be with me, I believed him when he said he was going to his performance when he was seeing a girl. I believed every word that came from his mouth, I trusted him. In the end, what came out of his mouth was, ‘I am incapable of loving you, I am sorry, please give me the space to move on’..after all the tears, after all sacrifice, after all the suffering, he’s incapable of loving me. Do I hate him? No I don’t hate him, I was in love with him, how could I ever hate him? My friends say, he’s a loser, he’s not worth it. Do I believe them? Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. Do I think low of him? No I don’t, I still think there must be a reason why I loved him so much, why I thought he was worth my every effort. There must be a reason why he became my boyfriend in the first place. There must be a reason y I kept accepting him even after ugly break ups. Yes there must have been very good reasons.

read the blog!

how can i?

2006-10-08T06:11:00.000+08:00

how can i forget you
when i dreamt the sweet memories of us everytime i close my eyes
how can i let you go
when i felt that it hurts all the time not being with you
how can i not love
when i know my heart says i do
how can i not miss
when i notice your smiles is the only thing that keeps me going
how can i not wait
when i promise you to and i will keep it forever
how can i?
ever will i..feel 'oren' again..

the promise

2006-10-08T02:54:00.000+08:00

the promise? hehehe, well, this is not a preview nor a commentary on the chinese movie the 'promise'..its 3 A.M in the morning, what am i doin very early in the morning? hahaha, well, its just that i cant sleep plus, its weekend, common, after this can sleep the whole day tomorrow, or is it today? hahaha..at this very moment, all that have happen to me in a couple of weeks way back in September, the sweet dark days of mine..was once again flash back in my mind, i dont know how it happen, why it happen, but it just happen..

i remember that sometime ago i made a promise, and after everything that happened, i give it a thought and decided to honour this promise, well, thats what my heart says and thats what my heart told me to do, so i will do it, i cant just ignore the feeling inside right? how am i going to be righteous and trustworty if i lied to my own heart, hahaha.. so it goes..well if that person reading this right at this moment, i just want to tell you that i will keep my word!

yeah, i know, it sounds so stupid, and yet, those who said to me forget about it, i am very sorry.. i know you all care for me but i have decided and i decide to wait, at least, i am true to my word, the word of a person who will always keep his promise, i did say i will do whatever i said right? hehehe, well, since i am bound with the promise, seems that i will be forever waiting, crossing my fingers from far..confused and yet, my heart says i do misses the 'oren' feeling..no wonder i still go crazy sometimes just by thinking about it..hehehe..

waiting and waiting for an answer..well, at least you still got me, even when the world might say you dont deserve me, always know this, i always thought that 'the juice is worth the squeeze', and i know, what ever happens, i know that i have the guts to tell the world that i am not afraid to lose and i do what i believe is right, a promise is still a promise, i will wait, and wait, just like what i said..the word is true, and forever i will be waiting, for an answer that will never come..

amu nu nosimbar
you never answered

mantad di nokopitutun toh
from the day we met
alansan oku daa..ginawo dika..
i fell in love with you
nosimbar toomod iri sambayang ku
my prayer was answered
notorimo oku dia do dot oruhai
i was accepted by you for a while

nawayaan ku id iman-imanon
i have been through the dreams that i dreamt with you
id timpu-timpu miampai dia
all the time i spent with you
nokopibatos kito do misanganu
we promised to be with each other
kakal do miupus gisom sogigisom
to love forever till the end of time

haro tuhot ku amu nu nosimbar
there's a question you never answered
gisom baino aiso ko noh id doros ku
till now you kept quiet from me
hinonggo ko nodi...
where are you now
amu oku ih boh kumaus dia
i wont felt hurt and left out by you
nung sunudan oku dia tosonong-sonong
i will think carefully
sundung piad oupus oku..
even if i love her like crazy
amu oku insan moti..do mononsog...dia
i will never force her

gisom baino aiso simbar nu
till now you never answered
pinosurat ku..kaus ku dika
i wrote..all my hurts of her
tikid-tikid timpu dot osorou ku
i remember each time
soira'd abasa ku id sisindiron
the great times we had with each other

haro tuhot ku amu nu nosimbar
there's a question you never answered
gisom baino aiso ko noh id doros ku
till now you kept quiet from me
hinonggo ko nodi...
where are you now
amu oku ih boh kumaus dia
i wont felt hurt and left out by you
nung sunudan oku dia tosonong-sonong
i will think carefully
sundung piad oupus
even if i love her like crazy
amu oku moti insan ..do mononsog...oh...
i will never force her

koila'ai no au ku asaga
i hope you know that i never expect
popoirili ih tupus di nopurimanan
that this would be the end of our love

hiti oku..poingandad..
here i will wait
poingandad oku dia..miampai di simbar nu..
wait for you, wait for your answers
dit otopot...
wait for the true story

this says it all

2006-10-07T14:32:00.001+08:00

inferior vs superior - the peoples comments!

comment 1:
aiyo, like dat one ka? dunno wor, i still single :)

comment 2:
lame excuse for breakin up man, i totally support you!

comment 3:
what? so stupid for leaving a person just because they are super nice, hihihi..demmit man, just go on with it, that person really doesnt deserve you! daa.., i got one here for you bro, my lil sista still single you knw, hahaha..

comment 4:
u know, if a person feels inferior because of the way another person treats them, its usually an excuse..ppl usually appreciate the person they love to treat them very well, but if they dont that means they feel they dont deserve it because they dont feel the same way as u feel about them..thats what happened to me, the person kept saying they doesnt deserve me, they doesnt deserve this, they doesnt deserve my gifts, my time..so come to think of it, saying this is just an excuse..if you think about it...if you love someone enough, of course you will want them to treat you that way..am i wrong? i might be wrong..

comment 5:
+> if my special one treated me good, i'l forever remain faithful to dem..haha
-> really?
+> ish..den dey prefer a person who treats dem like crap?
+> salah meh if that person layan the person sgt bek? wakakaakakaa
+> tue la sy heran...
+> i wish mine did..
+> haha
-> emm, yala, i wish mine too, tried too hard mungkin
-> hahahaa
-> layan too good mungkin sampai the other party just blow up, hahahaha
+> bongong binti talingung..
+> den i dun understand wat else do dey want den..
+> a person who alwys fight?
+> kuat jeles?
+> curang?
+> buat duh?
-> hahahaha
+> dunno la
+> sy lagi bingung
+> ahahahah

p/s:
hahaha, i have to censored some due to extreme explicit language used, hahaha, thx for all the comments, i love you all, hahaha..jadi heart to heart (a sharing session on radio by sabah.fm) pula blog sy ni..hehehe..anyway, to that person, hope this help you, keep living, keep loving, keep laughing and keep on rockin..yeah baby..hehehe..it time to breakin free..

the touch

2006-10-07T12:56:00.000+08:00

month of october, also the month of Rahmadan for the muslims, my muslim friends, happy fasting! hahaha, dont forget pass some food when you all break for fast, hahaha..well the month of October, is also the holy month of the Holy Rosary for Catholics..its been a long time since i say my Holy Rosary prayer..thank GOD, so far, i never missed a day to say this prayer to You, once again i feel alive, after goin through a death sentence, yeah, as everyone know, its a very difficult time for me, and yet, i never felt the burden, i once thought that You left me since i never felt the presence of You, but know i now, why there was only a set of footprints whenever i am in my difficult times, yeah, it was You who carry me all the time, guys..ever listen to the sweet sound of silence? yeah, i heard that a few times during my prayer..the feeling? yeah, its greater than rasa 'oren', i really broke down and cried listening to it, even for a moment..thank you GOD!

superior vs inferior

2006-10-06T08:30:00.000+08:00

hahaha, we meet again, well, i just received a few feedbacks from some readers..thx, let me foward the BIG question i got from them..

GIRLS out there..will you girls ever feel inferior when the special guy treat you well? hahaha, this question just pop out of no where while i was talking with a friend..i really wonder if a girl will ever feel that they are not good enough for that guy especially when the guy treat them so good, plus if there something on the girl's mind, that they just cant let it go..another guy, their family, their background or their past..well, to the person that foward the big Q, thanks man for sharing, hahaha, dont worry, will keep it a secret..hahaha..

readers..give you feedback, personally or just leave a comment or 2, hahaha..hey you girls, answer the Q la, do you GIRLS feel uncomfortable or threaten when ever your special someone treated you very very special..hahaha..or simply feel that you are not good enough for the special person and that person deserve someone better? let me hear from you girls..

p/s: friend, you hang on there, i've been there..trust me..

damn i hate liars!

2006-10-05T06:15:00.000+08:00

hahahaha, what a life i am having? there is only one truth and thousands of lies, well.. we could always cheat others right? and try to deceive the eyes of the world but we can never cheat our own self, we know it from deep in our heart, hahahaha, i really dont understand these kind of people, why do they need to lie, even to their own heart, stupid! hahaha, shit man, sucks, damn! at least have the guts to follow what ever your heart says and go on with it..darn, hahaha..i got cheated again and again, damn i hate liars, never ever make a promise that you cant keep! you sucks..hahaha..get a life, people do care, all you need is to open your hearts, truth will always set you free, hahaha..and there it goes..the world do have voices, we just have to learn how to listen to it and it will tell us back, the answers to all our questions..

H.A.T.E vs L.O.V.E?

2006-10-05T04:40:00.000+08:00

i hate you!
for making me smile..
i hate you!
for making me laugh..
i hate you!
for making me fall in love with you..
i hate you!
for driving me crazy all the time..

i hate you! i hate you! i hate you!
if i hate you this much, why do i keep missing you?
damn my life sucks, hahaha...

dragonflies out of my window

2006-10-04T13:27:00.000+08:00

wah, there's a lot of dragonflies flying around in front of my window, just outside my room, its a little bit dark and gloomy outside, this morning it was a bright day, the sun shine brightly in the sky.. i really thought it would end with a wonderful evening, with a great sunset in the west, where the sky turn dark leaving trails of clouds and colorful wonders of fading sun light, red, orange, purple, blue, and slowly getting darker, and darker, what a view that i long to see, hehehe.. but the in the end, it suddenly rains..and the world just turn dark, and cold..

well.. the same story goes in our life, it started well as we plan, but never would we know how long it would last..till the moment we realize it already turn bad, but remember this, there will always be tommorow..who knows, tommorow it might be your day! as my friends always said, there will always be a silver lining in between the dark clouds, life is like a wheel, each people will have their own time, and when the time comes, enjoy it like it will end in an instance and never let a moment pass by, with our worries and problems..

she fcukin hates me!

2006-10-03T16:28:00.000+08:00

Met a girl, thought she was grand
fell in love, found out first hand
went well for a week or two
then it all came unglued

in a trapped trip I can't grip
never thought I'd be the one who'd slip
then I started to realize
I was living one big lie

She fcukin hates me
I tried too hard
and she tore my feelings like I had none
and ripped them away

She was queen for about an hour
after that shit got sour
she took all I ever had
no sign of guilt
no feeling of bad, no

that's my story, as you see
learned my lesson and so did she
now it's over and i'm glad
'cause i'm a fool for all i've said

she fcuking hates me..

my prayer

2006-10-03T05:11:00.000+08:00

pater noster,
qui es in caelis,
sanctificetur nomen tuum,
adveniat regnum tuum,
fiat voluntas tua,
sicut in caelo,
et in terra,
panem nostrum cotidianum da nobis hodie,
et dimitte nobis debita nostra,
sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris,
et ne nos inducas in tentationem,
sed libera nos a malo,
AMEN.

the wind

2006-10-02T21:52:00.000+08:00

Cultivate your hunger before you idealize.
Motivate your anger to make them all realize.
Climbing the mountain, never coming down.
Break into the contents, never falling down.

My knee is still shaking, like I was twelve,
Sneaking out of the classroom, by the back door.
A man railed at me twice though, but I didn't care.
Waiting is wasting for people like me.

Don't try to live so wise.
Don't cry 'cause you're so right.
Don't dry with fakes or fears,
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end.

You say, "Dreams are dreams.
"I ain't gonna play the fool anymore."
You say, "'Cause I still got my soul."

Take your time, baby, your blood needs slowing down.
Breach your soul to reach yourself before you gloom.
Reflection of fear makes shadows of nothing, shadows of nothing.

You still are blind, if you see a winding road,
'Cause there's always a straight way to the point you see.

Don't try to live so wise.
Don't cry 'cause you're so right.
Don't dry with fakes or fears,
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end.

the lost message

2006-10-02T04:38:00.000+08:00

as i was digging my past historical archive, i found a piece of paper that brings back a sweet memory way back from march 2004..it was a message from a christian preacher, bill ang if i'm right..the message was in a small piece of paper..a message to all guys about relationship with a girl..here what the paper says..

---
God has given you a special role in your relationship with girls. she will look to you for leadership and direction. if you take advantage of that, God will hold you personally responsible. In most situations she will do exactly what you want her to do, because her natural desire is to please you and make you happy. Guys misinterpret that to mean she wants sexually involved. this is not the case at all. girls are more concerned with wanting someone to like their personality than they are with wanting physical contact.

in most cases, when a couple gets physically, its at the guy's insistence. then, even when a girl does 'give in', it's only because she wants his acceptance.

girls are afraid that if they say 'no' they'll make the guy feel the rejection they themselves so greatly fear. if you do take advantage of her, you will be showing her you really cannot be trusted. in the end she will rejecting you because you took advantage of her love.

do you want to marry a virgin? what makes you think she wants anything less? she wants to marry someone who has been waiting for her and not willing to jump in bed with anyone who seemed capable of adding some new thrill to life! just think about all the things you want your girlfriend, or future wife, like to be. do you meet the high standards you are expecting from her? if you dont, either you need to change your expectations or your expectations need to change you.

remember, if you are waiting for a princess, she is also waiting for a prince. Dont run around just looking for someone so you dont have to be alone. Wait and let God bring that special person into your life in His timing.
---

well, thats all what the message said folks, to the 3 big boss, i salute you! hahaha..

emm, a short message to the people that stays out late at night that time and ehem2, siap tapau dr gas station lagi, ni karaja c stupi[d]s, semawaksigak n mawkish as the driver, hahaha, mcm2 jua skill kamu mo men tapuk2 ar, batuk2 ka klu mo buka? hahaha, hebat2, hahaha..klu kamurang nda ingat sepa2 time tu, nah sia bagi list - overkill, vbronc, mawkish, stupi[d]s, semawaksigak, etc..yg len yg join time tu sia tia ingat, hahaha, mana sdah bukti2 kesalahan tu? masing2 kamu buang tu kesan2 dia ar, sangat campin ni sbb tia kanapatan, hahaha..

from a darling to a bitch

2006-10-01T23:02:00.000+08:00

it happens some time ago, i met this lovely person, who change my life, who change me the way i used to be, i left my world to be with her, i give my everything and do anything to please her..she was such a darling to me, hehehe..well, shit things do happen to good people you know, i really thought that i really understand her, we shared our feelings and bad memories together, we share the pain that we suffer and we went all the way just to create a better place, a place where there is only the two of us, to create our own sweet memories, i believe that she was the one for me..

because of her, i left behind the world that i used to know, the world that i grew up, and the world that used to teach me about life..i left some of my friends just because of her..i learn my lesson now, bad people can be a best friend too..and your so called best friend can always betray you just because he is interested, jealous and longing to posses what you have, well, to all the backstabbers that i met along the way in my life, please stop proclaiming yourself as a good Christian, you giving a bad image of that religion, as long as i remember that religion did said this in the 10 commandments ..thou shall not covet your neighbor's wife and your neighbor's house..

and now, all of this was just a black mark in my life, who would ever expect, such a darling would turn into a bitch..yeah, at least that what everyone else thought who she was, is she evil? if so, why do i miss her so much? in me, i still got good hope for her, may she found her way, the life that she choose to be and forever be happy..as for me, life goes on, making new friends along the way, and never will i befriended a person who is obsesed with my girl, my money, and my own fcukin business..

i will always remember..

2006-10-01T16:45:00.000+08:00

- just an extract from my previous work, non, i dan 'oren' -

..i will always remember..the girl who used to make me feel 'oren'..the feelings that we shared everytime we were together..when we chat, when we talk, when we sms, when we cling on the phone very early in the morning, when we eat, when you watch me eat, when we walk under the rain, when you had your ice cream and caught sugar high, when we tease each other, how you used to show me your colorful nails, when we play o2jam, when we study, when i walk you to your class, but the most of all, is the time when we parted after a date..as we did it like we will never see each other again..whenever there was you and me, the world looks at us as if they were jealous of us..and for that, i will always remember..